"PLEASE DON'T GO…WELL IF YOU INSIST" AWARD OF THE WEEK

Goes to the man with as much mental toughness as Gwyneth Paltrow in a Limp Bizkit mosh pit, Everton's Ghanaian midfielder, Alex Nyarko who last weekend asked to subbed and then announced his retirement from football after one of his own team's spectators jumped the fence, stormed the pitch, spewed abuse and offered to swap shirts with him during his team's 4-1 defeat at the hands of Arsenal.

"This is the fourth or fifth time this has happened and that's it. This man has done the same thing before. I'm finished with football…I can't live my life like this. I can live without football and that's what I'm going to do," said Nyarko as he was clearing out his cot for the last time and stuffing his disposable nappies and 'Hi Five' videos into his travel bag.

When quizzed about the Ghanaian's bizarre behaviour, like the wise old man of British footy that he is, Everton manager, Walter Smith suggested that he did want to rush in to anything but instead wanted to give the matter some deep thought: "You'll have to give me some time to think about whether he will be playing for us in our next game - about five seconds should do it," he said

Well he did say 'some' thought didn't he?

April 2001