"MORNING GLORY FOR AFTERNOON DELIGHT"
AWARD OF THE WEEK

Goes to out of favour, Perth Glory problem child, Kasey Wehrman who last week was omitted from the Glory team that played Northern Spirit after failing to catch the team bus to the game.

'Everyone knows I like a bit of morning glory before the game. Unfortunately on this occasion getting through the 46 Karma Sutra moves took a little longer than expected,' explained 'Wow, Wow' Wehrman in wholly unconfirmed reports.

A Glory insider however has suggested that on this occasion Wehrman's alleged early morning - late afternoon 'rumpy pumpy' sessions aren't the only thing to blame for the bus-missing crisis in the Glory camp:

'Who'd wanna jump on the 'Go Go Glory' mobile when Bernds at the wheel anyway? Have you seen this bloke drive? Autobahn donuts, fishtails, rear vision mirror dice, a Bavarian beast under the bonnet…the man's a match day maniac. German he may be but Michael Schumacher he ain't."

Ask yourself - Bernd should you be driving tonight?

March 2001

"WE DIDN'T TELL YOU BECAUSE WE JUST DIDN'T THINK IT WAS IMPORTANT ENOUGH"

AWARD OF THE WEEK

Goes to Perth Glory, who this week loaned their star dead ball specialist and problem child, Con Boutsianis to English First division club, Bolton Wanderers, conveniently forgetting to mention that the player was due to face armed robbery charges in Melbourne in May.

"I do think that was dodgy of them" Bolton manager, Sam Allardyce said of Glory's lack of disclosure over Boutsianis' impending appointment at the 'Big House'.

And the Glory response…

"If we are asked, then obviously we are obliged to give them information, but there was never any request so we didn't " said Perth General manager, Roger Lefort, rolling around laughing

his guts out on the floor.

March 2000

"THEY'VE GOT TWO HEADS, SIX FINGERS AND 14 TOES BUT THEY LOVE THEIR SOCCER"

AWARD OF THE WEEK

Goes to the seething, throbbing, festering, Sandgroper Perth Glory throng, who support their team week in week out and are the envy of every other soccer supporter in Australia (with the exception of the Northern Spirit in-breds).

The 15,482 attendance at Perth Oval last Sunday brought the club's total attendance to 206,143 to nudge past Northern Spirit's season gross at North Sydney Oval by 1,288 (204,855).

In all a total of 555,091 soccer devotees flowed through the turnstiles since 1996 at an average of 13,877 for the 40 home fixtures.

It just goes to show that cousins marrying cousins is not such a bad thing after all?

April 1999