WC 2002

Nominations are …

· Manchester United and now forever retired Republic of Ireland star, Roy ' I want to go home to Papa Alex' Keane, who this week walked out on his team, then came back, felt the need to have a go at his coach, teammates, the grounds man and the cook, and then found himself unceremoniously dumped from the squad.

· England standby player, Trevor 'I'll only get a game if the entire England team contracts the Ebola virus' Sinclair, who walked out on the England squad this week to be with his pregnant wife who is unwell....oh yeh and also because Sven was never going give him a game.

· Portugal's Daniel 'Does my bum look fat in this?' Kenedy, who this week was forced to drag his 'lard arse' out of the World Cup after he produced a dodgy urine sample containing the banned diuretic, Furosemide.

And the winner is …

· Manchester United star, Roy Keane

Unfortunately Roy couldn't be with us tonight......apparently the flight is too long,

the food is rubbish, the ground is too hard, it's too hot and the Diegos are crap.

'TAXI DRIVER I THINK I'M GOING TO BE SICK!'
AWARD OF THE WEEK

Goes to the 70,000 taxis in Seoul, South Korea that are being fitted with a simultaneous interpretation service, to cope with the flood of visitors expected to travel to the country for the 2002 World Cup.

So far the service only offers English, Japanese and Chinese but a prototype of an Australian translation device is said to be nearly complete.

Phrases such as "Don't you dare throw up in the backseat of my taxi mate" and "If you do a runner, I'll call the cops" are tipped by South Korean cab drivers as probably amongst the phrases most used when taking on Aussie passengers.

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie Oi Oi Oi!

July 2000

'BEST CUT THROAT DERBY' AWARD OF THE WEEK

Goes to the World Cup qualifying match up in deepest darkest African Zone D (a place were out of town referees fear to tread)

Democratic Republic of Congo 2
defeated
The Congo Republic 0

We are still waiting on the Diego's Dakari Safari Convoy to bring news about the goal-scorers but it is believed that Leonardo, the King of Bongo Congo got both 'sausage rolls' in a best on safari display.

July 2000