"GROUP OF DEATH OR CLICHÉD TO DEATH? YOU BE THE JUDGE"
AWARD OF THE WEEK

Goes to Wollongong Wolves World Club Championship head of delegation, Phil Torpey who on hearing that his club had been drawn in the Group of Death for this year's tournament unleashed an array of football clichés never witnessed before on the world football stage.

'The ball is round, it bounces evenly and the field is level. We're representing Australia and we'll give it our best shot,' said Torpey to the backdrop of rapturous applause for his world-class cliché effort.

Once someone had explained to Phil however that it is called the Group of Death because the Wolves opposition included Boca Juniors, current South American champions, Deportivo La Coruna playing on their home turf and reigning Spanish champions and Zamalek of Egypt who literally do want to kill them, unfortunately he suffered somewhat of a cliché short circuit:

'It's always the darkest before the dawn. One in the hard is worth two in the bush. If I told you, you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me…' he reportedly rambled on in unsubstantiated reports.

Don't worry Phil; they've got two arms, two legs and not as many clichés as us,

so the Diegos reckon we're a real chance.

March 2001