"WHO SAID AUSSIE GIRLS GO ALL THE WAY?" Goes to Matilda's spearhead - Sunni Hughes, who after scoring a cracker against Brazil during the week whipped off her top in celebration. Thankfully for the elderly residents of nursing homes throughout Australia she exposed nothing more than a sports bra. Regretfully and predictably Panel Beaters throughout Australia were up in arms wanting and expecting more. "These Aussie girls are elite sports people. They wouldn't cheapen themselves or their sport by going all the way for the sake of a buck" explained a spokesperson for the team fielding the panel beaters concerns. But what about the big selling nude Matilda calendar I hear you say? Didn't the girls go starkers for that? That was different; that was Art! September 2000
"THE AFTERNOON NAP THAT SAVED THE WORLD CUP" Goes to FIFA, who on August 3rd will be choosing between Australia and China for the right to host the 2003 Women's World Cup. The bad news for all Aussies though, is that China is the favorite. The good news for world soccer however, is that FIFA have strategically scheduled the vote to take place during Charlie Dempsey's nap at the nursing home. July 2000
'IN FUTURE IF YOU WANT TO FEEL APPRECIATED HUG A DIEGO INSTEAD' AWARD OF THE WEEK Goes to the world's greatest female soccer player and Four Diego Pin up girl (Along with Mary Kostakidis), the USA's Mia Hamm, who in emotional scenes recently, ran to her coach and hugged her after breaking a 3-month goal-scoring drought against Canada. 'Thanks for not giving up on me' whispered a hot and sweaty Hamm when she embraced her coach, April Henrichs Henrich's obviously appreciating Hamm's spontaneous display of affection replied, "You know I'll never give up on you' The US team went on to win the contest 4-1 with a swagger and to the apparent strains of 'I am Woman Hear Me Roar in Numbers to Big to Ignore', pumping out over the stadium PA. I say next time Mia put a snap in your shorts and help break the Diegos drought with girls - Hug one of us instead! July 2000
"200,000 PANEL BEATERS CAN'T BE WRONG" Goes to the new pin up girls for Panel Beaters and Motor Mechanics all around the country, the Matlidas, who this week, launched their controversial 'Bare-all' calendar. So successful was the hype around what's become Australian sports most explicit nude calendar since the 1995 glossy - 'The Four Diegos do a Turkish Bath House in Istanbul', the beaming publisher has announced that the print run will be bumped up from the initial 5,000 up to an incredible 70,000 copies to cope with the escalating interest. " This gives new meaning to a grease and oil change" declared the Diego's mechanic, Danny Dipstick from 'Dipsticks Are Us"
goes the Mona Matilda calendar… Now that's Art!" December 1999
'BEST JUSTIFICATION FOR TAKING YOUR CLOTHES OFF FOR 12 MILLION SALIVATING MEN TO SEE " AWARD OF THE WEEK Goes to 'full frontal' Matilda, Alison 'Starkers' Forman, who explained this week, that her 8 years as a professional soccer player in Denmark taught her to be comfortable with nudity hence her ready acceptance to get her gear off for all to see in the Matilda's calendar. "In Scandinavia, for me to take off my close was no big deal. Put it this way, you tend to spend a lot of time in the showers with your teammates after the game!" said explained Call the Diegos slow, call us thick, but unless the team's showers were televised live across the world via the Internet, we fail to see the comparison. Nice shoulder blades and hamstrings anyway Alison! December 1999
"WHATEVER YOU DO…DON'T GO TO THE OVAL OFFICE PROMISE ME…. PROMISE ME…PROMISE ME YOU WON"T GO TO THE OVAL OFFICE" AWARD OF THE WEEK Goes to the victorious World Champion USA Women's soccer team, who this week announced that they would accept Bill Clinton's invitation to the White House. To the girls some good 4 Diegos advice…
Don't believe him if he says you look tense and then offers to give you a back rub on the presidential desk! Run out of the room screaming if he tells you that you bear an uncanny resemblance to his good pal Monica! Do not under any circumstances recreate for him "the flash the sports bra - goal celebration". And… Don't, whatever you do, ever, ever, ever go into the Oval Office. July 1999 |
