Socceroo legend Robbie Slater’s attack on former teammate and media rival Craig Foster on Twitter yesterday was ugly and personal but intriguing nonetheless. What did Robbie mean when he announced to millions that Fozzie had a ‘Dark Secret’ which allegedly saw him banned from Socceroo selection forever? To answer the question the Diegos went sniffing and, in a special Carlos’ Blog Exclusive, uncovered the following:

Top 10 reasons why Craig Foster was allegedly banned, never to be selected again for Australia, after a World Cup Qualifier in Tahiti in 2000.

1. He insisted that everyone call him ‘Xavi’.

2. Juanita chose him rather Robbie Slater at the post match disco even though Bulldog put in all the ground work.

3. He refused to head the ball, run hard, hoof it long, put it in the mixer, get stuck in, batter the opposition, ping it into the big lad up front, throw it long, clatter the opposition, sweat and spit and get in the bath with the rest of the lads after the game – a legacy of the British that he insisted must be stamped out of our game forever.  

4. He insisted on giving his own half time analysis to the team putting on makeup and using a plasma and auto-cue.

5. He demanded that the team nutritionist include tapas and sangria on the pre-match menu.

6. He insisted on wearing a snood and woollen gloves in training and games.

7. He demanded that a council of former Socceroo captains select the team.

8. He wanted Australia’s nickname to be changed from the ‘Socceroos’ to the ‘Catalan Giants’. 

9. He refused to accept that ‘El Tel’ was not Spanish.

10. In camp, he led a campaign for Portsmouth and Crystal Palace to secede from Britain and become independent republics of Spain.

Carlos Alberto Diego ....Ole!