Italy ... if only looks could kill.
While it is a truth universally accepted that every Pele worshipping fan of the game wants to play like a Brazilian, it is equally true that the same said lover of the sport, wants to look like an Italian while doing so.
For the Italians, the beautiful game must be understood in its literal sense first as there is little point taking the field unless the kit is Milan runway perfect and the hair is just right. Clearly, it is from their exterior confidence that the Italians can then tap into their inner Paolo Rossi and produce sublime skill, deft touch and amazing daring.
Ironically, the country has also spurned players who have flown in the face of such sacrosanct superficiality and have looked quite understated for Italians. Branded the “new black” of Italy, while still being azzurri- blue, Cannavaro, Vieri, Materazzi are just some of the great players of recent times who, though they didn’t make it about the hair or Berlusconi spray tan, still looked amazingly good. Indeed, such was Materazzi’s inner glow and confidence that he even took to tweaking the nipple of one of the game’s all time greats in a world cup final and then having his offer to share his inner glow with the sister of the player emphatically rejected. As is now well known, Zinedine Zidane’s forthright head butt to the chest of Materazzi hurt quite a bit and Materazzi never got to first base with Miss Zidane.
The Italians approach every world cup as if it were a slow cooking festival with the aim being to make sure that they get to the final banquet with a well prepared, basted and seasoned feast. Such is their main goal, that the necessity of actually scoring goals is ignored, at which time every Italian’s inner Gordon Ramsey is unleashed. And while the media calls for the head of the head coach, the Italian federation starts interviewing replacements for the next world cup. In a wonderfully quirky and Italian way, it is also not uncommon for the next replacement to be the guy they sacked at the previous world cup.
The benefit of looking so god damn cool in your Versace strip is that it also tends to have a calming influence and at such times when the prongs up front fail to deliver, it is only the Italian back line that can withstand the marauding attacks of any other team in the world without raising a sweat (and ruining the Versace strip). Part of the art of Italian football is knowing how not to concede, a feat the The Azzurri could probably manage with just the keeper on the pitch.
Given Italy’s pedigree and commitment to strategic gamesmanship, the world pretty much expects them to make the final and, most likely, lose it on penalties. The truth is, the penalty shoot out is just not their “thing” and not even these King’s of Cooldom can deny it. Many a great Italian player – Baggio , Donadoni, Baresi - who has been called to bring it home at the spot, has crumbled and that’s ok because even when they weep inconsolably, they still look good. Quite possibly the biggest surprise for Italy fans across the globe was that they actually won last world cup on the shoot out. In fact, the Azzurri were so clinically precise many thought them to be Germans.
In 2010, though they still looked a treat, re-hired Lippi, their 2006 World Cup winning coach and had the nicest of reunions for players like Buffon, Cannavaro, Camorenesi and Gattuso, the boys just didn’t play with any intensity, although I did like Pepe and Marchisio.
Curiously, it was as if they kept forgetting that they had only drawn the previous game and didn’t need to win the next one. Apart from their final 15 minutes in the game against Slovakia when they fired up, finally realizing that the dream was crumbling and that they had forgotten to organise any family to pick them up from the airport, the only other highlight for me was watching Lippi swear in Italian every time the camera cut to him. As for the game against the Kiwis, at least the generosity of the country was showcased and I’m sure it was really nice for them to know they had contributed to another nation’s greatest triumph. I wonder if they also gave the Kiwis some food to take home?
They say elephants have long memories and maybe, some good will come of the Azzuris time in Africa. They really do need to remember that they were horrible. In fact they need to remember that they are better when they forget they are Italian and play with intensity, passion and desperation. Maybe they should even nominate for the next Group of Death so that they stay on their toes from the get go..
With Cesare Prandelli sworn in as new coach and promising to invest the squad with youth, vitality and maybe even Balotelli, their future should be bright.
Hopefully, next time they won’t only look good.
Vinnie Venezuela
