Nominations are …

· Manchester United and now forever retired Republic of Ireland star, Roy ' I want to go home to Papa Alex' Keane, who this week walked out on his team, then came back, felt the need to have a go at his coach, teammates, the grounds man and the cook, and then found himself unceremoniously dumped from the squad.

· England standby player, Trevor 'I'll only get a game if the entire England team contracts the Ebola virus' Sinclair, who walked out on the England squad this week to be with his pregnant wife who is unwell....oh yeh and also because Sven was never going give him a game.

· Portugal's Daniel 'Does my bum look fat in this?' Kenedy, who this week was forced to drag his 'lard arse' out of the World Cup after he produced a dodgy urine sample containing the banned diuretic, Furosemide.

And the winner is …

· Manchester United star, Roy Keane

Unfortunately Roy couldn't be with us tonight......apparently the flight is too long, the food is rubbish, the ground is too hard, it's too hot and the Diegos are crap.