Socceroos 'Tanked' Bahrain Clash

Triple M.com Post by: Carlos Alberto Diego 19 January, 2011 - 1:54 PM

Australia’s campaign to host the 2046 World Cup continued on Wednesday morning with a seemingly unconvincing 1-0 Asian Cup win over a plucky Bahrain.

Why seemingly? Well it’s all part of the grand plan. Let the Diegos explain.

In their bid to curry (of the laksa variety) favour with AFC president Mohammed Bin Hammam, the bloke gunning for Sepp ‘The Rat’ Blatter’s job at FIFA and real powerbroker of where FIFA World Cups end up (if you are nice to him), the Socceroos did an expert job of taking the three points while performing like bamboozled, outclassed losers and making our Persian Gulf friends go home feeling like winners.

“The boys did a great job tanking against Bahrain,” said Socceroos coach Holger Osieck exclusively to Triple M’s Four Diegos ... well the bloke on the phone had a German accent.

“With our defence in disarray, our midfield non-existent and prongs impotent, I think the boys were quite convincing.”

“Throw in the 4-0 ‘love in’ against India in the opening match and that’s two votes gained in our quest to bring the 2046 FIFA World Cup to our shores.”

“With 23 members on the FIFA Executive Committee, that’s only 21 more tanked games and gift-wrapped Westfield Shopping Centres and we’ll have enough votes to host it - Mr Lowy will be pleased.”

On how Mark Schwarzer’s wonderful performance in goals, Brett Holman’s industry up front and Mile Jedinak’s great goal nearly scuppered the ‘tanking-for-votes’ World Cup plan, Osieck was forthright in saying: “Sometimes you get ill-discipline in the team and I’ll need to sort it out. To be honest these players will be lucky to ever wear the green and gold again.”

Carlos Alberto Diego