Name: "Cactus" Chris Couch

I'm a Diegos expert in…. Believing everything I read in the English tabloids.

Favorite style of play…. In a blow-up pool filled with jelly with a scantily clad bikini model!

Football likes…. The off-season and all of the transfer rumours.

Football Dislikes…. Divers, time-wasters, fakers, Liverpool.

Favorite player…. Roy Keane - what a player!

I once won…. An Atari 2600 in a raffle at a junior representative carnival in Noosa.

Most memorable Diego moment…. When I heard my first three minute, pre-recorded English Premier League preview go to air...I thought my next stop would be co-commentating with Martin Tyler for sure!

My father once told me….. If you don't play guitar or surf, girls won't like you (I can't do either and he was right)!

My mother once told me.....If you're funny girls will want you (now that isn't really true is it mum)?

My coach once told me......You're no good and you'll never make it (he's a wise man).

Football person I would love to cook dinner for and what I would you cook? Sir Alex Ferguson - probably hamburgers!

Message to the world I would you write on my under garment…. If found in a bush, please return to Cactus at...

Football memorabilia I'd like to own…. A World Cup winner's medal when Australia wins.

The player I channel when I take the field…. Zinedine Zidane, but I'm rubbish at channeling.

My preferred prong formation…. Two aggressive, direct central prongs with a couple of attacking wide prongs (and a couple of deeper central prongs making forward runs for good measure).

Love is....Eating the best hamburger you can possibly imagine.